October 7, 2021

Do you know what the long term effects of leaving your comfort zone are? How does your attitude REALLY affect your happiness? And what are the dangers of mislabeling TRUE success? Find out today on a jam packed episode of the happiness playbook!   

YOUTUBE CHANNEL: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJCE2mr6QBhXUgeoQx4HnzA 


When someone gives an undesirable offer to you VALIDATE and REDIRECT toward a mutually beneficial offer.

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What are the long-term effects of leading your comfort zone?

How does your attitude really affect your happiness and what are the dangers of mislabeling? True success. Find out today on a jam packed episode of the happiness playbook.

📍 Hey everybody. I hope you had a great week. I'm so excited to be with you today and, to be sharing some awesome nuggets from a live workshop. We did. I thought it would be fun to bring you in and play some real sound bites from a workshop from our participants who were amazing, by the way, shout out to the champion circle who had me come by and do a four week workshop with them.

And we had a ton of fun, played lots of games, and I just met. Awesome people and we're going to keep playing with them. Let's kick things off today with our highlight reel, which is a very interesting one. So an 80 year old man went to a showing of the new James Bond movie entitled no time to die during the viewing. He went into cardiac arrest from a heart attack. Now, this sounds terrible, but it has a happy ending. I promise.

So in the audience, there were four individuals who jumped in some of them doctors. And I think a nurse as well was in the mix and they performed CPR on this individual. And for 15 minutes they kept this guy alive long enough for the paramedics to arrive and he survived. It's Okay to laugh now. Cause you know, he lived right.

Aside, from the ironic title of the movie, he was watching during the incident where he almost died. How awesome of these total strangers to jump in and help save this man's life. They had a skillset and they happen to be in the right time and the right place, and they didn't even stop to think about it.

They just jumped in and started performing CPR. Awesome story with a pinch of humor in there as well. Glad there was no time to die for this man at the theater.

Okay. It's time for the post-game analysis. So last week we discussed the importance of validating and redirecting offers, especially when you're strapped for resources and time. So how did it go? Were you able to validate and redirect offers and find mutually beneficial? Options for you and the individual.

I tried putting this into practice and I actually had a situation with a huge project that I had previously actually said yes to and discovered, or, or rather admitted that I didn't have time for it. And I was able to validate this individual. It was a big project that was going to be a ton of websites.

There's gonna be like 20 different websites, but they're going to be smaller websites and didn't pay as much. And so it was going to take a lot more of my time for, um, you know, less pay. And I was able to validate this individual and tell them I'm so grateful. They reached out and I still want to be involved.

And then we actually found higher paying project that met both of our needs. And so it was a huge win. And I'm so grateful that I am getting better at this as a yes, man. So make sure that you are validating, you're holding healthy boundaries for yourself and finding those reluctant okays and replacing them with enthusiastic.


Okay, huddle up here for a minute. Cause we got an awesome testimonial to share with you. the feedback on our survey has been amazing. Thank you for everybody jumping in there and giving your thoughts. So I wanted to share, one piece of great feedback from Adri or Tayga who said

I began listening to play theory because it came at a time of tremendous negativity, community conflict, and restriction. The podcast was an outlet into a different mindset and reminded me of the positive things in the world. And the way I might say. Can be different in spite of whatever else was going on.

Audrey, thank you so much for your kind words. They really are the gasoline in our happiness van. So thank you for sharing. If anyone else wants to take the time, it would mean the world to us. Leave us a review on apple podcasts or send us your feedback on the survey, which is still alive.

And we would love to get as much as possible. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Today, there are three awesome nuggets that I want to share with you from my workshop with the champion circle. And this was an awesome group. We got this group of amazing business owners, entrepreneurs, and they're just excited about life and shout out to John Kovach, who is the. The co-founder of champion circle, who invited me to come and play with them.

We just had a great time and I just wanted to share some of the insights from those amazing participants. So the first one that I want to share with you, um, has to do with leaving the comfort zone. So give this one a listen,

failure and error are the fundamental basis of growth. Let's hear it. Let's hear a clap for that round of applause.

Isn't growth. What we all want at the end of the day, let's talk about the comfort zone for just a second. We have the comfort zone outside of the comfort zone. We have our stretch zone. Outside of the stretch zone, you could argue, there's a panic zone that you don't want to spend too much time in, but we got the stretch zone, which is where we want to be, because that's where we're growing.

I call it the growth zone. Right? Your, your comfort zone gets bigger, right? And we perform very well in our comfort zone. And as you stretch, your comfort zone gets bigger and your performance increases. And that is a very key element to. I love that conversation for so many reasons. We've talked a lot about the comfort zone here on the happiness playbook and how that incorporates into the principle of let go and play but it's important to remember. Long-term what's happening. As we consistently leave our comfort zone, our comfort zone is actually expanding. The great thing to point out here is that anxiety and stress are much more common. As we increasingly spend time in our comfort zone, it's in leaving our comfort zone. As we expand our comfort zone, that our performance actually increases. And that's why over the long-term, it's so important that we are leaving the comfort zone so that that performance can increase and we can be more comfortable doing increasingly harder things.

This next nugget is really good. So listen up has everything to do with focusing on what we can control. So.

My, I try to teach my older kids right now that, um, that they can control what they can control. Um, failure's going to happen. The situation is going to happen where you feel you can't control situations, but you can control your attitude and how you behave within that event within that situation. Um, and that's one thing that I keep telling them time and time again, as you can tell.

Well, you can control. And right now you can control your attitude and how you are acting within this situation. That insight was powerful. That was Sam diamond, a good friend of mine. And I am so grateful. He shared that because we forget the power of our attitude. And that is a very important thing to teach your children if you're a parent, but for us to be reminded as we go through life and encounter very difficult situations.

John Maxwell sums up this thought beautifully. He said, the greatest day in your life. And mine is when we take total responsibility for our attitudes. That's the day we truly grow up. We can face some very hard, challenging, stressful, heartbreaking situations, but we always have power over our attitude.

Now I'm not saying that's easy and I'm not saying. Can't have time to mourn and you shouldn't process trauma when it happens. What I am saying is that your attitude will dramatically improve or worsen the situation at hand. So it's important that we work on our attitude and our emotional reaction to these hard situations as they come.

Sam, thank you for that nugget. That's awesome.

to round out her workshop nuggets here. It's an, it's a strange name, but I'm rolling with it

is a more high level, but equally powerful nugget here about success and how we define it. So give this a listen.

Sometimes we need to let go of desires, successes. Ooh, tell me more about that. Um, how often do we think. Same as failures, not always failing themselves. Sometimes we think we need to have a certain success. So we strive to achieve that success, even though it's not what we want, it's not is going to read is happy.

It's not necessarily even a success, but in our mind we hold that as a success. Oh, there's so much to unpack here. And success is a tricky topic because it's such an arbitrary word that can be defined in so many ways.

But I love the angle that Tony Robbins takes with this said success without fulfillment is the ultimate failure. And what he's saying, there is a lot of the times we think we've defined success and that we will be happy when we have achieved that definition of success only defined that we had mislabeled success and that we have no fulfillment

he continues by saying. So why are so many successful entrepreneurs depressed? I can speak from personal experience here. I distinctly remember going to St. Lucia with my wife and children and thinking to myself, is this all there is I was feeling depressed. On vacation all because I had reached several of my goals and the expectations of how I would feel when I got there.

Simply weren't there. If we do not carefully define success, we can wind up miserable. And without that fulfillment, Now, I don't know about you, but when I hear that word success, I think broadly speaking, it is defined as wealth, you know, or influence. And there are these kind of worldly definitions of success,

If we fixate on success. Defined as wealth, fame, and fortune at the expense of other much more valuable things like relationships, purpose, and service. We are going to experience the ultimate failure that Tony Robinson's talking about, which is success without fulfillment.

And in order to get that fulfillment, we have to dig deep. And that is a perfect segue into today's play of the week. What I want you to do is to take time to think. And to define true success for you and let go of what others have influenced you to define it as Tony. Overbay our good friend over the virtual couch podcast.

which if you haven't listened to it, you need to go check it out. He calls these socially compliant definitions. And We often make socially complaint and goals, which is allowing others to influence and define our goals. And it's not aligned with our true values and that causes all kinds of problems. But if we can let go of that socially compliant definition of success, you know what others have defined success for us as, and really dig deep onto what will make us happy and fulfilled.

Then we will be much happier. So I want you to redefine success. Is it, what will truly fulfill me? That's the question I want you to ask yourself, is that an amazing marriage purpose-driven work traveling and seeing the world with loved ones, service dig deep. Once you've defined what success looks like for you.

True. Start letting go of the things that do not align with that definition of success. Now, this is a very broad play of the week, but I know as you ponder this, as you start to retweak that definition of success and let go of what you feel, it should be. You're going to be able to truly find fulfillment as you strive for that success.

So that is our player of the week. It's a, it's a broad one. It's a pro-tip. Uh, but it will pay dividends.

Wow. Lots of nuggets on today's episode. I hope you enjoyed that. Thank you all at the champion circle for your thoughts and for sharing those amazing nuggets and letting me share them here with team happiness. Embarrassment is hard to manage and we get embarrassed all the time and we don't even realize how that's impacting our wellbeing and happiness.

So next week, you're not going to want to miss it because we're going to do a deep dive into how to navigate embarrassment and really level up our happiness.

📍 All right. You beautiful people. Thank you so much for joining me today. It was awesome to do this happiness workout with you. I hope this week that you can consistently leave your comfort zone and really expand your performance. I hope that you can focus on what you can control and really start practicing your attitude and reaction to all of these hard situations that come your way.

And most of all, I hope that you can really define true success for yourself and start making those small steps toward finding fulfillment and true success. And as always remember that happiness is a skill and life is a team sport catch next week.

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