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Today is such a special episode and you get to hear from our team, captain, LaRee Florence, and one of our major MVPs, Sandee Clark. Sandee is a powerhouse in so many ways and you're going to get to know her a little better because she and LaRee sit down and chat through some major accept and build as she shares some stories from her personal life about overcoming hardship, parenting in unique circumstances, how to help your children thrive, and how to help people feel heard and validated who are going through really hard things. This episode is jam packed with amazing nuggets and I am SO excited for you to get to know my friend, Sandee.
Play of the Week: When you really aren't planning on starting a conversation instead of greeting someone with the token "How are you?" say something like "It's so great to see you this morning" or share a sincere compliment about them.
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Self awareness. It's one of those things that we hear about all the time, but what is it really? And more importantly, how can it change our lives for the better? In today’s episode we’re really exploring a powerful element of Be Present. I'll share with you some research and experiences with self awareness, and how it is actually the key ingredient to accelerating your growth and finding more fulfillment in your relationships, career, and beyond.
YOUTUBE CHANNEL: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJCE2mr6QBhXUgeoQx4HnzA
PLAY OF THE WEEK:
Come join the conversation and play with us!
WEBSITE https://www.playtheory.org
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Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/1652343491608927/
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Remember that Life is a team sport, so let's play together!
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We are going to keep REAL today, I'm talking with my wife Aubrea about play theory and just going big in life. I feel like we're just going for it right now in life and we have been relying on play theory for survival. And so I just wanted to have Aubrea on to just chat about how she is doing that in her journey, how I'm doing that in my endeavors, and how WE are doing that together.
The other thing that's unique about today's episode is we are going to be living play theory as we record it, which means we are not going to edit anything in post production! This is RAW AND UNCUT! Talk about letting go and playing 🙂
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As I was thinking what to share with you today. I could not help remembering a part of a conversation with Bryce pool, who you heard from a few months ago. We got a lot of feedback that you all really liked our previous conversation so I dove back in because there were so many good things that we recorded in that conversation that didn't end up making the final cut.
So I wanted to share with you, this amazing story that he shared which was a part of a Public speaking competition that Bryce actually entered and won! So it's a really great story and there's a lot of awesome principles that we pull from the story about the subconscious and how to let go of limiting beliefs. Let’s dive in!
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PLAY OF THE WEEK:
Come join the conversation and play with us!
WEBSITE https://www.playtheory.org
Facebook Page https://www.facebook.com/playtheory/
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Remember that Life is a team sport, so let's play together!
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Alright team, it’s time…let’s Talk About Bruno! Disney’s Encanto has taken the world by storm and delighted millions of people across the globe. Today we are going to do a deep dive into the magical lessons of Encanto and how we can better connect with others through principles of Play Theory.
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PLAY OF THE WEEK:
Come join the conversation and play with us!
WEBSITE https://www.playtheory.org
Facebook Page https://www.facebook.com/playtheory/
Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/1652343491608927/
Instagram https://www.instagram.com/playtheory4life/
Remember that Life is a team sport, so let's play together!
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https://www.preview.ph/culture/disney-encanto-movie-life-lessons-a2164-20220128-lfrm
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Whether it’s a final exam, public performance, or just leaving your house and socializing with others, these can all be nerve-wracking experiences requiring pressure to perform. Today we’re doing a deep dive into PLAY THEORY to find ways to ease the pressure and boost your performance! Let’s dive in
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Come join the conversation and play with us!
WEBSITE https://www.playtheory.org
Facebook Page https://www.facebook.com/playtheory/
Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/1652343491608927/
Instagram https://www.instagram.com/playtheory4life/
Remember that Life is a team sport, so let's play together!
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TRANSCRIPT
Whether it's a final exam, public performance, or just leaving your house in socializing with other people. These can all be nerve wracking experiences, requiring pressure to perform. Today, we're going to do a deep dive into play theory and how to find ways to ease the pressure. And boost 📍 your performance For today's highlight reel. I wanted to share a delightful story. I found on good news network.org. Entitled. After asking his neighbor to take his trash bin out. He received a photo shoot of their day on the town. So a little play on words here, a cheeky neighbor in Queensland, Australia, I believe.
Named Carl. Got a text from his neighbor, Nick, with a request to take out his bins, to which he responded. Yeah, sure. No problem. Any particular place? He then took the lucky wheelie bin. He was caring for, to the local beach in Mackay Queensland.
Then to the surf club and then to do some chores, including a stop at a hardware store for socializing. After stopping at several restaurants, they took some RNR. Carl said we went for a massage and then to the tattoo parlor.
And then stopped at the pub for a coldy.
After five hours spent around the Australian town. Carl returned home with news. He had completed the favor for his neighbor and sent a photo album of all the events from that day, which reportedly blew Nick away. Carl told the guardian that putting a smile on people's faces, especially his neighbors.
Was totally worth it, especially since McKay is a town that relies on tourism and was so hard hit during the lockdowns. Now that is a fun way to put smiles on people's faces.
And what a great example of letting go and playing and of course, accepting and building in a unique way. The next time your neighbor asks you to take the trash out. You might think of some nice date ideas for you in the trash bin.
All right. So last time we chatted about being more present during crazy times and unplugging the play of the week was to delete the social media apps from your phone for one whole week. So, how did it go? Did you find that even the thought of deleting the apps was too much? Yeah, that was me too a while back, but I'm telling you it will be so eyeopening and freeing.
To take that break and not even to completely go. Missing Mia from social media, but just delete those apps off your phone. So there's a little more friction to get on there.
What are some other ways you can find a, just be a little more present. We would love to hear what your thoughts are.
Oh team happiness huddle up here because we are very excited by tomorrow, January of this year will be our best month ever for podcasts, downloads and listens. And that is absolutely thrilling. What an amazing way to start out the new year. And we are just so thrilled with the traction we've been getting and these last couple of months, and so grateful for all of our new listeners. If you're new here, welcome to the show. I just did a workshop for
a company yesterday and told somebody about the podcast. So if you're listening. Welcome to team happiness. We're so excited for you to be here. And I just want to give a very special shout out to one of our dedicated listeners, Jimmy Russen, who always takes the time to reach out and tell me his thoughts on our episodes and express his gratitude. Jimmy is the king of let go and play and a dear friend of mine.
Thank you for listening brother. So grateful to have you on team happiness. You always put a smile on my face.
All right, let's get into the practice here. So I want to start by sharing that Adria has successfully completed her second week at culinary school. Abra is my wife. If you're not aware and you're new here. And she signed up to become a professional French patisserie chef. And this is a pretty big deal. It's an intensive program and she's been learning a lot and I have been benefiting from that knowledge and this experience of her going through culinary school. But I wanted to share with you about her first day at class, because it is an intense program and the chef is very professional.
He's had. Bakeries in Germany and he's just a very well-known chef and really knows his stuff. So. She loves cooking. All right. You got to know that about Abra. She loves cooking. Always has, and she is self-taught up until this point. She's now getting the professional training, but. She has always wanted to improve her speed and her ability to perform under pressure.
And she would be the first one to tell you this, that she's wanting to get better at being a little more organized in the kitchen and a little quicker. And she got thrown into this culinary program. And we were anticipating there'd be some orientation. Maybe the first week there'd be a lot of talking. And after 20 minutes of being there, they started cooking and they're in this professional kitchen and they're broken into teams and they're doing all these things. And this was way outside of her comfort zone.
Let's be very clear. She was thrilled to be there, but this was. This was not only the growth zone. This is probably the panic zone. Right. Because she's not used to going that fast and to, to being she's cooking all these new things that she's never done before. And so she was in the panic zone and she was starting to feel that pressure and getting really close to giving into the anxiety. And there's, I think there's 15 people in her cohort.
And so there's all these people around her and about an hour or so into the experience. She started looking around and noticing. At, she was really far behind, like she was way behind everybody else and they had to wash their dishes afterward. And so she was anticipating this all of this work and she started kind of.
Getting really anxious and stressed out from all that pressure. And we have all been in similar situations.
Now, I don't know if anyone listening has been to culinary school or. Intense situation quite like that. But we've all had those exams, those social settings or those jobs or environments that were just so far outside our comfort zone and that pressure can become unbearable. And if we don't know how to manage that, we can slip into the panic zone and start having massive anxiety. And in worst case scenarios, even panic attacks.
I'm happy to report that my sweet wife. Just grounded in the moment she got present. And started just laser focusing on her task at hand and blocking out. She stopped looking at what others were doing and just really got present grounded in the moment. And she was able to really perform under that pressure and make it work. So let's talk about some ways that we can mitigate the panic zone. And perform under pressure when our performance matters most. The first thing is we got to understand what pressure is and how it affects you. Like we've mentioned already. We feel pressure when we leave our comfort zone. And pressure affects everyone differently when you leave that comfort zone.
Some people get a thrill out of the growth zone. They love being there. They crave that energy and that excitement and the new, but on psychology today.com Alfie, Kohn shares some thoughts about how pressure can affect us individually in very differently.
Can stress actually be good for us. Not withstanding the cliche. He says about how diamonds are made. Such a sweeping generalization is hard to take seriously, and it doesn't help much to add a qualification. Such as people are more productive, under moderate pressure, which people productive in what sense? What kind of pressure? These are all questions that we should be asking ourselves.
Based on what we're hearing here. And so while some people love being in the growth zone there are others who really get uncomfortable and either from trauma or core beliefs, it's just really hard to operate there. And so it's important that we understand. What pressure feels like to us and how it affects us. You've been in stressful situations and you know what that feels like. And you also know what helps you get out out of those situations. So that is an important thing is just to understand the pressure is when we start questioning our capability. And start feeling that the stakes are high. And when that happens, we got to have a game plan. So the second thing I wanted to talk about when you are feeling that pressure, when you're feeling the high stakes situation, maybe having that self doubt.
Take a few deep breaths and center yourself. That is the first tip. And this is obviously a great way. To be present. We talk about this all the time, but especially when you're feeling that pressure. Some deep breathing is a great way to bring yourself and in ground in the moment. And the more you can focus on your breath, the more helpful it will be.
Another thing to do, which Abra did in this situation was to focus on the task, not the outcome. A lot of times when we feel that pressure, it's really easy for us to be thinking about what could go wrong if you can just instead get laser focused on the task at hand, just like Aubrey did instead of looking around at everybody else and seeing how far ahead they were and how far behind she was, she just got down to business and looked at her dough and rolled it out and just really focused on the next best thing that she could do for herself.
On inc.com, according to whisk singer and poly fry, they conclude that this might be the easiest tactic of all when we're feeling pressure. They say, instead of worrying about the outcome or about the task at hand, that means developing tunnel vision. When you keep your eye on the task at hand and only the task at hand, all you can see is the concrete steps necessary to Excel.
For a student writing a paper that means concentrating on doing stellar research, not obsessing about the ultimate grade. What will happen if you don't get it, and whether you should have majored in economics after all. These are just some examples of how we can focus on the task at hand.
Instead of the unknown outcome. The next tip is to get in touch with your senses. Right. If you're still struggling to be present and ground in the moment. Focus on one sense, whether it's touch, smell sight maybe you can look around the room and try to describe some of the things you're seeing, feel the texture of whatever's in front of you. These are great ways to also ground in the moment.
And to better perform and to better perform under pressure.
This next one is really important. Don't be afraid to ask for help. Now that's easier said than done, but the more we can practice instinctively reaching out and connecting with others, especially when we're under pressure and feeling the high stakes situations. It is going to be. Massive help for us.
Going back to the inc.com article. Telling someone else about the pressure you're feeling has been proven to reduce anxiety and stress. But there's another bonus for this tip. And that is sharing your feelings, allows you to examine them, challenge their reality and view a pressure situation in a realistic manner. And it's likely the person you're sharing your feelings with will have some feedback or insights as well.
Keep this in mind, you may not be the only one feeling the heat,
last and certainly not least when you are trying to perform under pressure. Remember that practice is a longterm tactic to help you perform better.
The more you practice A task or situation. Outside of your comfort zone. The bigger your comfort zone gets and the better you perform under that pressure. I think of a baby who's learning to walk that is outside of their comfort zone. But the more time they practice, the more comfortable they are performing at that level. And the same is true for us. If there's something that is really causing you a lot of anxiety.
Try and letting go and playing a little bit, practice that thing. Leave your comfort zone, a little more practice, interacting with people in a safe environment in a safe way. And make that comfort zone stretch a little bit.
And now for our play of the week, during times of stress this coming week, I want you to ask yourself out loud under your breath if necessary. What is the task at hand? This will help you ground in the moment. And focus on that task instead of that outcome, this will help you perform instead of give in to the anxious thoughts about that outcome, that you are dreading or experiencing that anxiety around. 📍
Pressure is a part of life. It's what we do with that pressure that makes the difference. Today. We've talked about six techniques or principles you can use to manage that pressure and achieve success.
Keep focusing on tasks, asking for help from others and being present. If you know someone who could benefit from today's episode, I invite you to share this with them
and as always remember that happiness is a skill and life is a team sport, and we are so glad to have you on the team catch you next week.
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Happy Thursday Team happiness! With so much turbulence, uncertainty, and distraction grounding in the moment seems harder than ever. Today we are going to revisit some tactical aspects of be present and how we can be where our feet are! Let’s do this.
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PLAY OF THE WEEK:
Come join the conversation and play with us!
WEBSITE https://www.playtheory.org
Facebook Page https://www.facebook.com/playtheory/
Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/1652343491608927/
Instagram https://www.instagram.com/playtheory4life/
Remember that Life is a team sport, so let's play together!
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📍 Happiness. On today's show. I want to talk about how we can navigate. The uncertainty, the turbulence, the distraction in ground in the moment, which seems more important than ever. Today, we're going to revisit some tactical aspects of be present and make sure that we understand exactly how we can do that. Amidst the chaos and get better at being where our feet are. Let's 📍 do this. All right. We're going to just jump right in here with a post game analysis from last week's workout and challenge last time. We sat down with our beloved friend, Tony Overbay from the virtual couch podcast. Wasn't that just a great episode. He is such a delightful wealth of knowledge. And if you missed out on that episode, you're definitely gonna want to go back and give it a listen. Tony shared with us two pro tips to apply last week, the first was to do a mindful exercise. And how he instructed us to do that was to breathe in through the nose, count to one and breathe out through the mouth, count to two and continue increasing the numbers on each breath, in and out and see how high you can get to. The second thing he shared was when you're experiencing difficult emotions to step into observer mode. So, how did it go? How many seconds did you get to on the mindful exercise? I got up to 11 and that was pretty challenging, but it was really good and such a great mindfulness exercise. To have on hand. In terms of the second pro tip about stepping into observer mode. I was able to do this actually twice last week. And took note of my emotions rather than letting them control me. And I think I mentioned that Adria started culinary school this week to become a professional pastry chef. Which has already paid dividends as she brought home, lots of delectable treats. But that basically meant that I was left with juggling parenthood on my own for the last five hours of the day, three days this week. And so. That gave me a lot of opportunities to develop some patients with myself. And with my kids. And so I was able to, in these moments of frustration where I normally think I would have just given into my emotions. I was able to step back and just observe the situation. And honestly, I was able to find a lot of humor in the situation, which really helps me just not take the situation seriously and be in control of my emotions and that shift from. Reactionary to observer is so powerful. So I'm grateful that Tony shared that with us. What a great skill to develop to boost your happiness game. Thank you, Tony. All right, huddle up, everybody. Let coach Neil whisper in your ear. Actually, I'm not going to whisper because I'm really excited. Our monthly listened numbers are holding strong and we are so grateful to everyone who is engaging, applying, and sharing the goodness. We're not even. Two thirds of the way through the month, I guess actually we are as of today, but we've already had, this is now our second best month ever behind December, which is exciting. And we still got some time left. So keep sharing, keep taking note, keep applying the plays of the week and the prototypes that is obviously the most important thing. And of course, if you haven't contributed your voice to the library of online reviews, please consider doing that because that helps us a lot. And as long as we're huddled up here, I also just wanted to share an awesome reviews. Speaking of reviews, from. And I'm going to totally butcher this doctor Ahmed. Do. I'm a doings, I guess is how I would say that. This individual, however you say that name. I said my middle school classes have started listening to the boot camp episodes. They caught onto your message about paradigms. These play three scholars are benefiting as they listen and they are writing down reflections about what they learned. This is so exciting because we now have a teacher who is sharing these principles with youth at a very pivotal stage of their lives. And that is so exciting and worth celebrating. Thank you so much for the review for sharing the wealth with your students. And forgetting the. Team happiness roster filled up your amazing. All right, team happiness. Let's get into the practice. Now, I don't know about you, but I have felt so much distraction and so much anxiety and depression. And I think with how many people have been getting sick. I know so many people that have. Got COVID 19, just in the last two weeks. And I think a lot of people are really struggling to stay present. And so I wanted to just hop on here and go through a few points on being present and remind ourselves how important it is in those moments of stress to do that. Our lives. The truth is, are filled with distractions that keep us from being present. And the list of distractions just keeps getting longer. The more we involve technology in our lives. The more zoom school and zoom meetings we take, we are just marinating in distraction constantly. Now there's not always a good way around that, but it's worth noting that if you're feeling a little more distracted, There's a good reason for that. We are just going all in on technology and this is just a personal opinion, but all of this talk of the metaverse of course, it's exciting. Of course, there's going to be lots of opportunities, but I. I personally get really concerned with that. And spending so much time detached from reality. In a virtual space. And granted, there are ways to artificially connect in an environment like that, but I just can't help thinking of this concept of distraction and being present and how that just seems to be such a step in the wrong direction. And again, that's just my opinion that doesn't reflect you. At a principled level what we share here, but I think us. Just stepping back and realizing how much distraction we have in our environment is worth noting. The other thing is we're so busy that we often don't take the time to enjoy the moment. So we have all this distraction. But then we get so busy And busy-ness is such a double edged sword, because if we're not careful in our pursuit to achieve things and to get things done, We start to just fill our schedule with tasks that are just busy work and being busy doesn't mean you're being productive. This is something I've had to learn. And especially this last year, when I was on this journey of alignment and purpose, I found that I was doing so much stuff. But at its core, I noticed that 50% of the things and the projects I was involved with were not aligned with where I ultimately wanted to go. So I had to make some hard decisions. I had to tell some people that I was no longer going to be able to support them on some projects and have some tough conversations. But when I got rid of so many of these things that were not aligned with my purpose and where I wanted to go. It helped me be present with what was actually important. Being present can help us appreciate the things in our life so much more. And when we're distracted and we're so busy. We stop appreciating these precious moments. And again, I as a father, it's so easy for me to use this example, but when I am with my children, I miss out on so many precious moments. If I am distracted and preoccupied with all the busy-ness of my life. Okay. So anyone who knows me knows that I'm a huge Jason Mariah's fan Adria, and I both are. We love him. We got to go see him live in concert. And it wasn't just a concert for us. Okay. And I'm not trying to be dramatic here, but it was like this spiritual experience. I don't view him as a musician. I view him as like a Sage or a philosopher because his music, which is really good, very catchy. Musically. Incredibly talented, but it's the meaning behind his music. It's the way he can take a message and beautifully package it with these deep, meaningful principles, and then share them with the world. I admire him and respect him. So much, but I wanted to share a song that I heard. It just came out last year from him. And it's called be where your feet are. And it just ties in everything that we're discussing today. So I wanted to just play this clip from you and I guarantee it will be stuck in your head for at least two hours, but maybe longer than that, here we 📍 go. Oh, isn't that so good and catchy. I love that song. I love so much of his music. My favorite album by him for the record is yes. I think it's his most underappreciated album or. Underrated album. But the lyrics here are so good. He says every time I think I'm stuck, the sun moves along and my shadow gets up. If you're lost, relax and be where your feet are. Are you feeling lost? Maybe you're not feeling lost in this moment, but there are times where you do feel directionless or you question what you're doing and you just feel all that stress and anxiety come in. And it's so powerful because what Jason Moran is teaching us here is the power of being present. Being where your feet are, and I encourage you to be where your feet are. And one of the most powerful ways to do that. Is to. Remove distraction. So for this play of the week, I want you to eliminate one of the biggest distractions we have. Especially those with smartphones and that is the social media, my invitation. To you that I guarantee will help you be where your feet are and be more present and appreciate these precious moments of life is to delete the social media apps from your phone. I'm not telling you to get off social media completely. I'm just encouraging you to delete the social media apps from your phone for one week. And I know. That this is going to help you. Be more intentional about the time you're spending on social media. Because when it's not there, you have muscle memory. I guarantee it. If you get a text message, you pull your phone out, you check the texts and you immediately, what do you do? You immediately go and check your email and your social media, right? It's just programmed. And when those apps are not there, It's going to help you think twice it's going to increase the friction just enough for you to be in control or at least more in control. So that is our play of the week. I know it's going to be an awesome way for you to be where your feet are. And if you want to go the extra smile, I'm going to reiterate Tony over bays pro tip from last week and encourage you to try the mindfulness exercise. He gave us where you count. To one breathing in. Count to two breathing out. Count to three breathing in. Counts of four breathing out and see how high you can go. There's the extra smile for the week. 📍 All right. So the next time you feel like your mental health is slipping, you're feeling that anxiety and depression, obviously you need to make sure you're taking care of that and you have long-term solutions in place and getting professional help. But be where your feet are. If your relationships are struggling, take a step back and look at how much distraction is in your life. Start by eliminating one source of distraction at a time and see if being more present makes a difference. And finally be where your feet are. Don't let yourself get lost in another screen when there is so much to discover in the world around you. I'm so excited to hear how your. Fast from social media for one week goes and how it impacts your life. Please let us know. Next week, we are going to do a deep dive into performance under pressure, and what to do when you start panicking in public, you won't want to miss it. As always remember that happiness is a skill and life is a team sport and we are so glad you're on the team catching next week.
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We are in for a real treat today! This has been a long time coming, but our dear friend, Tony Overbay has come onto the show and shared so much value. And it was such an honor and a privilege to have him join us. So I cannot wait for you to dive into the mind of the one and only Tony Overbay and bask in his wisdom and all of his positivity. He is our MVP for team happiness.
BIO: Tony is a licensed marriage and family therapist, a certified mindful habit coach. A popular motivational speaker and the host and creator of the virtual couch podcast. Tony has created so many resources and programs to help others including the Magnetic Marriage program, The Path Back (pornography addiction recovery), The 3 Keys To Positive Parenting, and MORE. He is an author, speaker, master of happiness, and most of all…a dear friend that we are delighted to have on the show.
YOUTUBE CHANNEL: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJCE2mr6QBhXUgeoQx4HnzA
PLAY OF THE WEEK:
Come join the conversation and play with us!
WEBSITE https://www.playtheory.org
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Instagram https://www.instagram.com/playtheory4life/
Remember that Life is a team sport, so let's play together!
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Hello Team Happiness! And HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! I missed you during our break but it was really nice to be with family and recharge. With 2021 officially behind us I want to reflect with you today and share something VERY exciting that we’ve prepared for you. 2021 was a challenging year for many of us, and with those challenges came lots of growth. Today we have a JAM PACKED episode full of tangible actions you can take to start the year off right and apply PLAY THEORY principles in your life in an accessible way. Let’s jump in!
YOUTUBE CHANNEL: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJCE2mr6QBhXUgeoQx4HnzA
PLAY OF THE WEEK:
Download the “Power Plays of 2021” PDF we made just for YOU!
Come join the conversation and play with us!
WEBSITE https://www.playtheory.org
Facebook Page https://www.facebook.com/playtheory/
Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/1652343491608927/
Instagram https://www.instagram.com/playtheory4life/
Remember that Life is a team sport, so let's play together!
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MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR! We are so lucky and excited to have the one and only LaRee Florence with us for today's show. This amazing woman needs no introduction, but for anyone who's new here on the happiness playbook, LaRee is the founder of play theory and the director and founder of take note troop out in California and has been doing a lot of amazing things and changing lives and making magic for a while and we are just so blessed and lucky to have her!
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